


Ignored

by linasane



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-01
Updated: 2014-06-01
Packaged: 2018-01-27 21:30:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1723157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linasane/pseuds/linasane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Castiel is fed up with his best friend always ditching him for his family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ignored

Castiel sits in his room and (unsuccessfully) tries not to check his phone every other minute.

He and Dean had been texting back and forth all day, planning to hang out tonight.  Cas had been really excited about it too – both he and Dean have been so busy over their short winter breaks, home from different universities – and it feels like it’s been ages since he’s seen his best friend.

So, of course, after Dean had suddenly stopped texting back two hours ago, Cas couldn’t help but feel a bit, well, devastated.

It’s not that he’s not used to it.  When Dean’s home – hell, even when he’s away at school – his family is his top priority.  In the ten years they’ve been friends, Castiel has had ample time to adjust to Dean’s habit of dropping everything when Sam or his Dad needs something.  But the fact that he’s used to it doesn’t mean it sucks any less every time it happens.

At this point, he’s pretty fed up with the whole thing.

He knows he shouldn’t be, especially as he’s long since accepted that this is just who his best friend is.  Dean’s dedication to the people he cares about is one of the things Castiel admires most about him, in fact.  And yet, each time Dean cuts a movie night short, each time he wordlessly grabs his keys and jacket and runs out of Castiel’s house, each minute that Castiel spends staring at his phone, willing a new text alert to appear, just hurts a little bit more.  And the worst part is that every time, when a text finally does show up, or when Dean calls to apologize, Cas knows that he’ll immediately forgive the other man, just happy to have his attention once again.  This is the price he pays for falling in love with his best friend.  He’s always going to be left disappointed and alone.

_Not this time_ , he tells himself.

He tries to ignore the feelings of abandonment and being unwanted that bubble up in his chest.  At first, he blasted loud music in an attempt to drown out his thoughts, but that only caused him to think of Dean.  He wandered around his house next, hoping that Gabriel would be home to entertain him, but his brother’s out with Kali tonight.

So now he sits, book in his hands, reading the same sentence over and over between glances at his still-dark phone screen.  And he hates himself, in this moment, for just how dependent he’s become on his friend.

\---

Just as Castiel thinks he’s about to finally lose his mind, his cell phone rings, and he nearly jumps a foot off of the bed.

_DEAN WINCHESTER CALLING_ , the screen informs him.

He’s just about to eagerly accept the call when he stops himself, taking a deep breath and hitting Ignore instead.

He feels satisfied for all of five minutes.  After that he just feels lonely.

He turns back to the book in his hands.

Ten minutes later, he’s startled yet again, this time by a knock on his window.  His _second floor_ window.

There’s only one person who’s ever climbed up there before, and Castiel doesn’t really feel like talking to him right now, so he focuses hard on the words in front of him, resisting the urge to look up.

But of course Dean Winchester knows how to break into a simple window lock, and he does so quickly, sliding open Cas’s window and landing inside the room with a thud.

“Dude,” he says as he straightens up, “What the hell?”

Castiel pointedly looks at the clock, which reads 10:37 pm, before finally looking up to face his friend.

“Oh,” he says, voice icier than he intended, “Are we actually hanging up now?  I figured we no longer had plans.”

Dean scrubs a hand down his face, walking over and sitting down heavily by Cas’s feet.  “Look, I’m sorry, man,” he says, “But Sammy had a project to work on, and my dad couldn’t take him to the store, and—“

“And you had to help him out,” Cas finishes for him, anger fading, though he can’t help but add a muttered, “As usual.”

The other man’s head snaps up at that last bit.  “Dude, I said I’m sorry.  Why are you all worked up about this all of a sudden? “

Castiel snorts, anger back full force, “Why am I ‘worked up’ about you leaving me hanging, _again_?  About you making plans and then ditching me, _again_?” he realizes, horrified, that a few tears have managed to escape, running down his cheeks, and his anger dissipates into hopeless resignation.  He swipes at his face, trying and failing to hide them from his friend before he speaks again, “I consider you my best friend, Dean.  But clearly you don’t feel the same way.”

During Cas’s tirade, Dean’s face has gone from defensive to confused to concerned, and he moves up on the bed to sit closer to the other man.  “Cas,” he says, voice soft, careful, “Of course you’re my best friend.  But you never said anything, man.  You always told me you understood, that it was okay to go.  How was I supposed to know this was a problem?”

Cas looks up at his friend briefly and then ducks his head, staring at his hands in embarrassment.  He had never considered that maybe Dean didn’t even realize what he was doing was hurtful.  Suddenly, Castiel feels selfish, like he’s asking Dean to put him before his own family.

“I do understand, Dean,” he says quietly, “And I’m sorry.  I just…I got frustrated and I overreacted.  But I know you have to put the people you love before anyone else.  I _know_ that.”

Dean is silent for a long moment, and when Castiel finally raises his head, he finds his friend staring at him incredulously.

“What?” he asks, self conscious under his friend’s intense green stare.

“Cas, you never asked me not to go.  If you did…” Deans words trail off as he looks around the room.  Suddenly, determination settles over his features and he reaches up to take Castiel’s face between his hands.  “You’re _one_ of the people I love, you idiot,” he says, leaning in close.  And suddenly Castiel finds himself kissing his best friend.

He’s never felt more wanted in his life.

* * *

Later, Cas and Dean are curled around each other on Castiel’s bed.  They’ve been lying here for hours, talking about how school is going for each of them, and how dumb they’ve been to have loved each other for so long and never said anything.  Eventually, Dean sighs and moves to get up from the bed.

The other man keeps his arms around him, holding tighter for a second before Dean meets his gaze.

“Stay,” Cas says.

And, for the first time, Dean does.


End file.
